BB 156-7
Guards 158-6
The Guards Win
Burton Court was looking more like Headingly in ’81 than the usual serene and picturesque oasis in SW3. The scotched outfield and a dusty track had mischief written all over it. Following a crushing defeat in 2021, The Guards had pushed, prodded and pleaded to the groundsman to produce a wicket as central as possible in order to minimise the balls being despatched to Sloane Square and the surrounding post code. The scene was set for an almighty t20, as long as the players managed to leave the office in time for the 1700hr bell.
Brother Regan unfortunately lost the toss which was pounced on by their Skipper in which he declared his side were “hesitant chasers but even more reluctant setters” and with recollections of 2021, The Band of Brothers were to bat first and it wasn’t going to be long before the fireworks were lit.
Brothers Roberts and Pask entered the torrid arena and immediately took the opener on after a couple of sighters and the tempo was set early. A late addition to the Guards bowling attack was a bowler Brother Roberts knew all too well - having seen eye ball to eye ball while batting for Esher, the memories of this off stump somersaulting to the boundary were still living in his mind rent free.
A thick edge was shelled at 1st slip and the fielders knew that would be costly. Roberts was determined to banish his demons however was caught behind for 1 and the duel or more appropriately, the formal combat with weapons fought between two persons in the presence of witnesses, will continue further into the season.
At the other end Brother Pask decided to play his natural game and remove the lacquer from the Dukes by despatching the opener for a couple of 4’s and a couple of maximums over mid-wicket. The pre match net seemed to be working wonders and his range hitting was nothing short of phenomenal. We have witnessed this pure hitting a handful of times this summer but potentially the build up to The Open took control and a mistimed whip resulted in a well taken catch at forward point.
Brother Boucher had strolled to the middle with the confidence of runs and hours at the crease under his belt already this season and was unluckily stumped by the keeper standing well back. It must be noted that he was triggered by the umpire standing even further back judging by the decision. It was obvious that the occasion and/or heat was getting to the players and officials; there was a flicker of a reversal call from the Guards but that was not to the case. Would this karma become a bitch further down the line? The Band of Brothers were currently 32-3 off 5 overs.
Brothers Middleton and Bryan looked to work the ball around off the 1st change bowlers, who’s military medium and slightly sporadic line and length caused the two batsmen to force shots – Brother Middleton delivering two immaculate straight drives for a 4 & 6, before deciding a third would be a charm however had to depart for 10 having been caught at mid on.
Brother Bryan picked up where Middleton had left and was crashing cover drives for fun, in a similar fashion to his entourage and the ice cold lager-beers in the shed. However his strength of the pull & hook resulted to be his downfall, following on from two mid track deliveries which were propelled to the square leg boundary; and as a consequence the potentially unseen and unused fielder at deep fine leg manoeuvred himself using the cover of the shadows cast by the towering trees into a deeper square fine leg position, mainly to minimise the steps need to retrieve the ball from the rope. Brother Bryan’s top edge, which ascended into the flight path of the A380 which was in a holding pattern for LHR, returned with snow on it perfectly into the fielder’s breadbasket. Not one person present that day imagined it would stick. The meandering task of setting a total was trickling as BB reached 96-5 off 13 overs.
Brother Regan had the weight of the world on those broad shoulders. An uncharacteristic slow start began his innings but it soon picked up with four boundaries in 6 balls boosting confidence and his attacking spirit. Having momentarily fallen into a trap similar not only those set by NZ and India for YJB and the short ball but also to Brother Byran, he was saved by the No-Ball full toss. The Free Hit allowed him to regain focus and he accelerated to 36 before falling to a straight Yorker from the opening bowler who was tasked with collecting his scalp. 124-6. 4 overs remaining.
While Brother Regan was copping the majority of the noise in the field, Brother Simpson was calmly flowing at the other end finding the boundary on 5 occasions, this vital knock of 27* highlights the importance of maintaining your wicket. He was adroitly supported by Brother Hill who arrived at the crease to be met with the Guards solo spinner and having studied 3 balls that refused to deviate at all, casually lofted the next over a prowling ¾ mid-on for four. A glorious shot that was caught on film and must be in the individuals must watched already. A slack handful of boundaries and extras followed in the next two others and the level headedness of the BB stalwart and young keeper maintained a healthy run rate deep into the twilight of the innings.
The Guards were doing their best to stem the flow, some very special fielding and body on the line dives certainly saved some very average bowling and they started to ply the Band of Brothers with pressure neither side were expecting. Frustration to get the ball away and intensified noise in the field following some catches not hitting the turf resulted in The Band of Brothers posting a respectable 156 when time was called on the 20 overs with Brother Hill carrying his bat on 20.
The Band of Brothers opened up with Brother Regan flicking his off break darts, the unusual scenes of a spinner taking the new ball at Burton Court caused ripples of apprehension through the batsman in the wings. The attacking field was however taken advantage of and spin turned to bolt upright seam through Brother Middleton who rushed in and created the breakthrough after Brother Roberts’s nemesis had raced to 16 in four balls, yet Middleton sent him packing as well as the Number 3 in the same fashion – both clean bowled and the scoreboard showed 30-2.
Brother Booker was chucked the ball, that familiar scurry in and chest on action which we are accustomed to was unable to break the deadlock, the thoughts and prayers to the Swing Gods were being uttered by the other 10 in the dust. Nevertheless the desired shape and hoop just wasn’t in the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea that evening. The same was sadly felt by Brother Watt at the other end, no matter where it was pitched, the red found its way past despairing hands. The Guards had moved form 30-2 to 145 without the loss of a wicket.
Things were spiralling out of control. Catches went down, extras went up and ones became twos. There was an air of confidence, almost boarding on nonchalance surrounded the Guards. The remaining batsmen were unperturbed and the spectators were adding a couple more to Brother Bryans ever growing slate. There was some clean albeit agricultural hitting on show, but the runs were flowing no matter what they looked like.
With the temperature and pitch resembling the SCC in Colombo it was time for Brother Sherwin to rip something out of nowhere. The combination of flight and flip was bound to create dramas for the settled batsman. Not many like change, and a Guards batsman faced with a ball that doesn’t intend to go straight on, is certainly not one of those who relish it. Today was not the day for the art of spin. The run rate continued as constantly as the sun beating down on the breathless pitch, as the drinks break came and went, the resilience of the Band of Brothers needed to come to the fore. It’s the darkest before the dawn.
The Band of Brothers had to stem the bleeding and, mercifully for The Brotherhood, a first aid kit was on hand in the shape of Brothers Regan and Roberts. Through a tourniquet of control and hostility, the runs dried up and the loose shots soon followed. The tide was turning, and it was rising. Brother Simpson’s glove work created this ever present but not yet seen riptide. A stupendous catch off a Brother Roberts was just the beginning of what was needed, and the current was taking hold of the Guards. There were a babbling from those in the hutch that the light was too low from the Sloane Square End but this is where karma returned to the party. The old adage was starting to ring true; a river cuts through rock, not because of its power, but because of its persistence. Never a truer word spoken. 145-3.
Brother Regan brought himself back on. He was all at sea after his opening spell but a rallying cry was needed and the pressure was building through the metronomic line and length from Brother Roberts at the other end, the ability to switch from breaks to seam without any tell-tale signs was comparable to the nuances of Jade Dernbach in 2011.
Blockhole (British)
(ˈblɒkˌhəʊl)
Noun
Where Brother Regan lives
A collapse is always around the corner for the Guards, and it seems that bend had arrived. The number four batsman had effortlessly moved to 76, granted there had been a couple of chances squandered, but to kill a snake, you must cut off its head. Brother Regan had found that pin point accuracy that was needed and off stump nudged, bails airborne. 145-4.
A Golden Duck. The Pavilion stunned. The collapse is here. Brother Regan had again guided it through the gate. Unbelievable scenes.
While the Home Changing Room’s interior design was being thoughtfully, albeit forcefully, rearranged by the Golden Duck he was united by a Duck in short order, having been skittled by Brother Roberts facing his second ball. The scrabble of the previously tranquil tail enders, who were moving from kit bag to kit bag in order to pad up was deafening. The whole game had shifted and the Band of Brothers were pressing hard on the throat. From 30-2 to 145-3, the scoreboard had been mightily rearranged to 145-6. Brothers Regan and Roberts had 4 wickets in 7 balls and the end was in sight, the tail was not wagging. 18 balls remained and 12 runs to defend.
The next passage of play was beyond tense. The net was tightening and batsmen where struggling to get anything on the leather. The Band of Brothers tasted blood and were moving with purpose to encircle and finish the wondered beast that had been roaming free. However, a couple of ill-fated singles and a handful of extras ticked the scoreboard over before a flash of a blade whisked the red to the square leg boundary and the hopes of an astonishing fight back were dashed. The Guards limped home with 2 deliveries remaining and handful in the shed.
